Referer (Sic) Logs (2)

Really, if I stop to think about it, I don’t know what happened with that, the girl and all that. After eight months of going out — seeing a lot of movies and walking around the city a bunch, among your other things — one day, she tells me that she’s in a bad mood. Then she stays in that bad mood for the next two months. Then, after having quit smoking and drinking for two years, she starts them both up again. But that’s not why it fizzled; I tried to see her, tried to set up the next date, and she gave me a list of things she needed to do and places she needed to go, all of which didn’t involve me in the picture; and I guess that was just too much for me to deal with. Yeah, it was probably her pushing me away so I’d be the one to break it off, but if it was, whatever — I said goodbye. (And I remember when I said it, felt maybe I’d get some kind of reaction, and getting none, I said it again, whereupon she told me I didn’t have to repeat myself.) There would be more to this picture later, but this set of scenes faded to black, one chapter closed, if not really a sense of closure was imparted by the closing words. Even with what I would learn later, it still confuses me to wonder why it all had to go away.

I kept looking at my referer logs. I mean, I do that anyway, even now, but after the break-up, I’m saying that I could still see her digital footprints walking through my sites. I’ll tell you how. Firstly, she was the only one in this country that visited my site (my blog, to be more specific) at 5am in the morning, being something of a (very) early riser. My blog, of necessity to describe it a little, consists of the page pointed to by just the domain name (“metaphenomenon.com”) which tells a little about me, and there is a picture of me you click to see the blog entries (“metaphenomenon.com/me/blog.php”). Also you need to know that I have a separate “home page”, which is basically a mini-portal to a bunch of the websites I’ve constructed. Well, even if she didn’t visit me at that ungodly hour in the morning, she was the only one to consistently click to my blog from my home page. I mean, no one visits my home page. Besides her, I get maybe one click every 6 months from my home page to my blog. Referer logs don’t lie; I could spot her from a mile away down the bitstream.

(part 1)

(to be continued…)