(Is it useful to think in conditional tense? The demon that contends with my thought makes me answer my own questions. Perhaps there is a blessing in that, too. I remember the time, vaguely, when I was so sure of my every action, or at least I pretended to be. And we are what we pretend to be, according to Vonnegut. But even then, was I lost? To decisively go into dead end after dead end — this gets us back to where we started, too. One must think that to experience has some value, or else animals seem to have little worth besides being walking meat; to go, then, in circles lets us know how it is that man must sometimes learn. And the demon that contends with my thought makes me understand what it is to struggle, sometimes to win, sometimes to lose. It may be the seed of its own destruction, evil, is that it is a zero-sum game, and loses fractions at each step in the friction.)
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