28 Feb 2005

Things are going very well. I am suspicious: perhaps it is going a little too well, methinks. These things I am working on — after much cultivation, they have the appearance that they will soon bear fruit — bear great fruit — and I know not what is to come in these my vicissitudes, but I find myself somewhat afraid. Perhaps it is nothing, a foreboding of a success that is not to come in any day near, if it ever is to come at all. But it could be something, after all, and I am not that young a man anymore, to whom such grand actualizations would be mere delightful consumables to his ego. I have done my share of suffering, my share of shying away from the world, and my persona is not as ready to take on the world. In me, I do want these things, I think, to be real ascertainments — but I am taking it easy, of late, for that desire is fraught with consequence. I know not the future, but this present is sweet enough as it is; let me enjoy what there is to enjoy, take it as it comes. It may all be nothing. Whatever may be. Today is a good day.

posted by John H. Doe @ 12:02 am

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