3 Sep 2004

In my troubled soul, I have wondered why. I have doubted, I have thought sometimes that salvation was very far away, or I have forgotten altogether that there be any light that shines. I slept in dreamless sleeps, and been thankful only that no visions came to haunt me, that there was only the nullity of a pretend oblivion where I lay. But there was nothing to do but continue, nothing to do but to be what I was, to live as I live. And there was a certain understanding there, in the pain — no amount of glee would impart the smallest part of this wisdom, insight only pain has to give. For in joy you may feel that life is worth living, but all those in such light do not truly know why, however one may think that this is life’s ultimate purpose. It is in sorrow where the meaning of life ultimately lies. This meaning, though it may stay unspoken, this is the thing that makes you keep on, even though all reasons why have flown away. This is the thing that pulls you through, though the distance may be long, and the future seems full of despair. Pain can reveal strength that otherwise might be unknown. Purpose is a deeper thing.

posted by John H. Doe @ 12:01 am

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