True story: I found the secrets of the universe.

There have been others before me who believed that Judas Iscariot was innocent of the crucifixion of The Lord Jesus Christ. But they only believe: I was told. I was shown. This book is a tribute to him, to try in the smallest part to amend two thousand years falsely accused of deicide. And this book is a doozy.

What is the meaning of life? I answer that. Why is life so unfair? Got that, too. Why is there pain? Yessiree, in the book. And Descartes thought he was doubting all things when he came up with “I think therefore I am.” But we find out he took one or two things for granted. And the context of all contexts turns out to be a little thing called the War in Heaven. A war in eternity. And everything, just everything, makes perfect sense if you really know what’s been up, up there.

O what I have seen! How amazing is this all, o me, o life! You were meant to be here, right now, right there, reading these words. Make the most of it, make the most of life! Believe, for the beginning is near!

And all of this actually happened… and Walt Disney is God.